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6 MOVIES AND A JOKE

( others call this the Movie Review, but I personally don’t wish to flatter anyone)

1. The Lodgers (2017)

Awful! Has nothing with any genre I am interested in, this is a pure drama. Nothing is happening. At least not in a way I wish it could be. Settings of a story are so well put together, but the scenes we get are … boring. No tension, gore, dark… yes, there is a dark… but only because they forgot to turn on the lights when they were filming. How the hell I suppose to see anything!!?? In many cases you will be left alone to ‘assume’ what a hell is going on, because some scenes are so blank ( black empty screen) that I was not even interested to watch the movie to the end. Once again, nothing is happening. A movie is awful. I watched to the end and the only thing I felt was disappointment.

2. Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Stupid! This movie never should be filmed, like ever. The utterly moronic conclusion is, that nobody can win a battle to Death. Because, that is what the main villain is. He is an embodiment of Death, not some cartoon muscle beefy asshole loser. Well, he loses everything in the end, but also everybody else, because the whole cast of the Avengers ( almost all) turns into the dust. SpiderMan and Thor alike, I just like IronMan is still alive, I see a cliffhanger right there…

3. Deadpool 2 (2018)

Morbid! The only thing you need to cure a broken heart is to be blown in pieces, stabbed, split in half, burned to crisp, shot a few million times, splat and slammed around in so many ways I can’t even count – and shit comes back in a place again. Yup, that looks like me, actually the Deadpool’s outbursts are so weirdly similar to my behavior, but probably that is a detail I should keep for myself. I also like avocados.

4. A Quiet Place (2018)

Just weeeeirddd. Ok, I will leave this one intact, so that you don’t have an idea whether to watch it or not.

5. Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018)

I tried to stay focused, but I simply couldn’t. It is not about the movie. It is about me. I take the whole blame. No, movie is solid. Trust me. Go and watch. Have fun. Take a pillow with you.

6. Pacific Rim Uprising (2018)

Action and technology. Things I have to like.
That’s pretty much it. Also, the brains? They look flat. Everything looks flat and deflated. Or it looks like somebody slain a bag of tacos and sprinkle Mort Rainey over it. What a hell I just said…?

7. up ( joke!!) Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Please, somebody call a morgue and inform a pathologist, I think he will have to identify a body. Somebody murdered Hercule Poirot. No, in this adaptation Hercule is still very much alive, just like in a book and in the previous version, but the thing is that a character dies in so many ways that there is nothing left of it at the end. Some people will like it, others who know the original will hate it to the bone. Acting on plot is unrealistic at times.

 

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