Funny Horoscopes: Funny facts about fire zodiac signs ( rep)

Fire signs are crazy, flaming, reckless and friendly. They will do everything for others, spend thousands of the dollars for the new shoes, a good party and probably invest in some crazy thing that has no future. They are all the perfection and the imperfection of this world, and whatever they do they do it with the royal quantity of the passion.

I write the horoscopes for fun, not as a real astrologer but as an entertainer. Do not take this post seriously but as a light entertainment only.


? Which sign Leo dislikes the most?

Sagittarius for taking all the attention, Libra for looking better ( read more bling) and Capricorn for having more cash at the poker table. When Leo dislikes something it takes books to describe who and why.

? Who is the most atrocious horoscope sign?

Aries. He stands upon any verbal or physical conflict as he is about to stand up defending the Planet Earth from the wicked aliens. He wants to be everyone’s, Flash Gordon.

? How to recognize a male Sagittarius at the party?

He is the self-proclaimed host and the self-proclaimed waiter, just so he can meet as many women as possible. He doesn’t even do that to meet their right one, to get phone numbers – he is just curious as a child and usually neatly mentally marks the most beautiful sporty girls in the club. Yes, it is awful, but Sagittarius is all about ‘arrowing’ your attention, a heart and probably will be the best friend for life.

? What is it like to be taken hostage by a Leo kidnaper?

He will torture you in the same way he would talk to you at the bar in the pub; he knows everything about you, he knows all the best and at the end, he will strangle you with his gigantic ego that has no end. He will take ransom quite successfully fooling your family and friends how dreadful he is and then make you an offer you can’t refuse – split 50/50 and live happily ever after each in his dream castle.

? How Leo solves his jealousy?

Lots of ‘roar’ for nothing. there are too many pretty girls around for him to fight over one and only skunk he ( ever!) met. he will suffer is the grandness of his dignity and bling himself with the photo models and aspiring young actresses. It doesn’t matter if she is right not a waitress or acts around the bar…

? What about Aries?

A hardcore lover has a hardcore capacity for the bitter revenge. He will probably date your cousin telling everyone how she is so much better person than you. Aries is quite vicious when it comes to the love revenge.

? What about the Sagittarius?

If Leo is a king of the hearth, a Sagittarius is a king of the breakups. This proactive horoscope sign will continue to live his perfect life making you feel sorry for yourself and why you ever break up with this great guy.

Love, joy and perpetual happiness to all good people.
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About the author: aschatria

I am publicly anonymous networker with fat record and rotten attitude towards any form of system slavery and similar artificial means of extortion. I also like donuts and coffee. And cats. My favorite color is pink. I hate long walks and have an extreme allergic reaction to bullshit.